Thursday, March 5, 2009

Who do the Voodoo?

When are assets worth more than current market price? When Charlie Brown says so of course. Good Grief Charlie Brown!

Investors look for lift of mark-to-market accounting.{21E57831-FECE-449B-823F-7BA81DDD9B0A}


  1. Today, one fictional and one true joke, both on Wal-Mart. I'll let you figure out which is which! . . .
    Why Wal-Mart Let Me Go

    As many of you know, I had ambitions of finding a simple, uncomplicated part-time job after retiring from my 'day job'. Unfortunately, as I have gotten a little older, I have become a little less sensitive.

    So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day.

    About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

    As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

    The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'

    'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am. I just couldn't believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'

    My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work!
    Wal-Mart customer finds teeth in wallet

    FALMOUTH, Mass. -- A customer shopping at a Wal-Mart store for a wallet claims he found something that definitely didn't fit the bill: human teeth.

    Police say the man found 10 human teeth last Saturday when he unzipped a compartment in the wallet. One tooth had a filling.

    The customer turned the wallet and the teeth over to employees at the store, but left without giving his name.

    Police investigating the incident told The Cape Cod Times that the teeth belong to an adult, but since there was no blood or gum tissue on the teeth, they would be unable to perform DNA tests.
    Would said teeth happen to be made in China, then packed nicely into the wallet? Wal-Mart does all their business, and gets all their stuff from that part of the world!

    G'day, everyone. Speaking of China, see second story. Others aren't bad, either. More later! . . .

  2. Why women don't take men on holiday

    Dear Lord,

    I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
    Love to forgive him;
    And Patience for his moods;
    Because Lord, if I pray for Strength,
    I'll beat him to death.

    -- or --

    'Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.'

    Theodor Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss
    As promised, I are back again. First, a link which says China MAY double it's original stimulus. --

    Next -- -- this refers to US only, but one can easily add most economies into this, plus I'll add a few lines from it . . .

    ". . . The unemployed will have 5-10 million in direct layoffs added within the next 12 months. Collateral damage (suppliers, customers, etc) will add at least another 5-10 million workers to that, perhaps double that many. . . . Civil unrest will break out before the end of the year. The Military and Guard will be called up to try to stop it. They won't be able to. . . ."

    On to another e-mail I received this morning, ". . . GM, GE, Bank of America, Citigroup and AIG are almost toast; S&P has already issued a negative outlook on GE’s debt and Moody’s is considering slashing the company’s credit rating. Citigroup's shares are now trading at less than a buck.

    ". . . The interesting one is JPMorgan Chase. Earlier today, Moody’s slashed its outlook to negative. Ditto for Wells Fargo. Apparently, JPMorgan Chase holds $91.3 trillion in derivatives -- a notional value that’s 40.6 times its total assets. Moreover, these include $9.2 trillion credit default swaps, hands-down the riskiest form of derivatives."

    Turns out that for each dollar of capital, the bank has credit exposure of $4.00 — nearly twice the average exposure of Bank of America and Citibank.

    America’s four largest banks — JPMorgan Chase, Citibank, Bank of America and Wells Fargo — are ALL going -- as well as the Sheeple On This Planet, along with us Very Highly Intelligently Smarty Evolved Ones -- on the Highway to Hell!

    Unfortunately, this last para. is what may end up taking a few Cdn. banks down with them.

    May not, maybe. We're all balanced on a tightrope, with one leg, no net below and no balancing stick.


  3. I'd be pissed.

  4. I wish the IMF and World Bank would just shut up.