This circulated on the net a while back, and it tickled me fancy.
Clyde died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad and the morgue needed
someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Clem and Zeke,
were sent for.
Clem went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Clem said “Yup
he’s burnt pretty bad. Roll him over.” So the mortician rolled him over
and Clem looked and said “Nope, ain’t Clyde.
The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Zeke
identify the body and Zeke took a look at him and said “Yup, he’s burnt
real bad, roll him over.” The mortician rolled him over and Zeke looked
down and said “No, it ain’t Clyde.”
The mortician asked “How can you tell?”
Zeke said “Well, Clyde had two assholes.”
“What? He had two assholes?” said the mortician.
“Yup, everyone in town knew he had two assholes. Every time we went
to town, folks would say “Here comes Clyde with them two assholes!”